When I come to be old

Not to marry a young woman.

Not to keep young company unless they really desire it.

Not to be peevish, or morose, or suspicious.

Not to scorn present ways, or wits, or fashions, or men, or war, &c.

Not to be fond of children, or let them come near me hardly.

Not to tell the same story over and and over to the same people.

Not to be covetous.

Not to neglect decency, or cleanliness, for fear of falling into nastiness.

Not to be over severe with young people, but give allowances for their youthful follies and weaknesses.

No to be influenced by, or give ear to knavish tattling servants, or others.

Not to be too free of advice, nor trouble any but those that desire it. To conjure some good friends to inform me which of these resolutions I break, or neglect, and wherein; and reform accordingly.

Not to talk much, nor of myself.

Not to boast of my former beauty, or strength, or favour with ladies; &c.

Not to hearken to flatteries, nor conceive I can be beloved by a young woman. Et eos hereditatem captant, odisse ac vitare.*

Not to be positive or opiniatre.

Not to set up for observing all these rules, for fear I should observe none.

Jonathan Swift

1699

*To hate and avoid those who angle for an inheritance

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